Students Suspended For Tebowing

What the devil is going on with teenagers today?

These little rapscallions have really gone too far now, and are in need of severe punishment.

Oh, they're not fighting in the hallway, smoking in the boys room, or rolling joints in the stairwells.  Those things are pretty commonplace these days, and are frequently handled with a simple "move along" from an armed hall monitor.

No, a recent collection of students in a Long Island high school were committing atrocities far more despicable, something that no self-respecting principal should ever be forced to permit.

Fortunately for the good people in that moral, heavenly place known as New York, the top guy at Riverhead High School has nipped these horrific actions in the bud, suspending the culprits for their misdeeds.

Their shameful, disruptive, unconscionable actions?

Taking a knee as if in prayer in the middle of the hallway.

It's a minor craze sweeping the sports nation lately, and even has a cool name: "Tebowing."  [Click here to see an example of "Tebowing."]

The action is a tribute to uber quarterback and Denver Broncos miracle maker Tim Tebow.

Tebow himself is quite a troublemaker, and will probably be run out of the NFL before the year is over.

Here in the 21st century, it is almost a requirement of employment that you must be a drug abuser, steroid user, wife beater, a regular strip club patron, a barroom thug, or in one notable case even a murderer, in order to be a player in the National Football League. 

This Tebow guy is none of those things.  Instead, he does something that simply cannot be allowed to continue:

He believes in God, and tells everybody within earshot.

After big plays, he doesn't dance in the end zone like an epileptic porn star, shout obscenities in the face of opponents while beating his chest hard enough to make King Kong wince, spike the ball in the middle of a choreographed huddle, or take out a Sharpie and autograph the goal posts like any decent, normal NFL player today.

No, he goes to the sideline, takes a knee, and bows his head in prayer.

It is such an oddity, such outrageous behavior, that it has caught on around the country.  The stance has earned the name "Tebowing."

And it isn't just an act, like the athlete wearing 14 gold chains around his neck and two pounds of pot in his gym bag who begins every locker room interview with "I want to thank God, my agent, and my mama."

Tebow doesn't just talk the talk.  He walks the walk.  He goes to church, does charity work in the community, and works hard to be something pre-teen football fans haven't seen in decades: a role model.

Which is why it's a certainty he won't last in the NFL.

But right now, he's on a hot streak.  Since becoming the starting quarterback for the Broncos mid-season, he has taken that team from last place in the division with a 1-5 record to first place in the AFC West with six straight wins (most of them last minute or overtime heart stoppers), and seven wins in the last eight games to compile a record of 8-5.

His dazzling play, devotion to God, and squeaky clean image have inspired venomous detractors and rabid fans across the country. 

Among them is a group of four high school athletes at Riverside High School who have been "Tebowing" in the halls for the last week or two.  [Click here for news story.]

Originally, it was just four jock buddies having fun.  But like most things as novel and rare as a professional athlete without a criminal record, it caught on among other high schoolers.  According to the school's administration, dozens of students had started doing the move in the middle of the hallway.  Apparently it was clogging the halls and disrupting the flow of students on their way to the bathroom for a smoke or to the stairwells to fire up a blunt.

So instead of employing the "move along, move along" tactic usually employed by overzealous high school administrators after a cafeteria shooting, the school suspended the four athletes they deemed to be the ringleaders of this nefarious action.

So to any parents out there, please take heed and warn your children.  Schools today will tolerate a lot of things, including rampant crystal meth use, death-inducing band hazings, sex between hot female teachers and their male students, sex in the showers involving football coaches and 10-year-olds, and all the students you can possibly cram into a classroom who are actually in this country illegally.  But they shouldn't dare do anything in a main passageway that might resemble prayer. 

If they must take such an action, they should find a secluded area in which to do it.  Of course, that might be a chore, since the bathrooms, stairwells, classrooms and showers are already full.  Maybe the principal's office would be a good place, since it doesn't seem to be getting much use lately.

TSA Picks On Teen For Gun Design On Purse

There are plenty of federal agencies that land on the Top 10 list of "Most Hated" for many Americans. 

It's actually easy pickings, beginning with that most dysfunctional, corrupt, greedy, and disharmonious of entities, the United States Senate and House of Representatives.  It's easy to hate an organization that is so steeped in partisan hatred and disregard for the people they are supposed to serve.

But they aren't alone. 

Wanna talk universal hatred?  Just bring up the IRS. 

Then you have partisan hatred.  To get a right winger wound up, just mention the EPA or the federal Welfare agency.  To see a left winger jump up and down, bring the CIA or the Federal Reserve board into the conversation.

However, even the most ordinary, lowly citizen can join hands with the most upper crust celebrity and millionaire in despising one particular federal agency, which is loathed equally by every socio-economic strata:

The TSA.

What does TSA stand for?  Below is the top 12 from a list of 38 compiled by JumboJoke.com.  My personal favorite is number 12.

1. Teaching Submission to Americans
2. Touchin', Squeezin', Arrestin'
3. Theatrical Security Agents
4. Taking Scissors Away
5. Too Stupid for Arby's
6. They See All
7. Trained Sodomy Adminstrators
8. Taking Security Away
9. Touching Sensitive Areas
10. Taliban Sharia Advocates
11. Terrorists Succeeded? Assuredly
12. Tough Shit, America!

The Transportation Security Administration was in the news again last week after a teenage girl from Florida was stopped and detained by TSA officials for carrying a gun.

It wasn't a pistol or rifle.  It wasn't a replica.  It wasn't a toy.

It was a design on her purse.

The front of the girl's purse had metal studs and the raised metal outline of a six-shooter.

She didn't have any problem with the TSA hasslers in Florida.  But on her way back from Virginia, bored TSA bullies from Norfolk International Airport stopped her, pulled her aside, and held her in custody long enough to make her miss her flight home.

The palm size gun design was a decoration that an untrained chimpanzee could have figured out in two, maybe three seconds.

The TSA's pretend cop wannabes went on red alert.

Because they're a government agency, and all federal bureaucracies thrive on something they call "precedent," you can bet there will now be a rash of detainments during the upcoming Christmas travel season.

I predict you will see the TSA stop travelers for possession of:

• a photograph of your favorite Glock
• CD's by the rock band "Revolver"
• DVD's of the old TV western "Have Gun Will Travel"
• any and every video version of "Die Hard"
• the gun-filled video game Call of Duty (just this week Alec Baldwin got into trouble for playing "Words With Friends" on a plane...I suspect he was winning with a three-letter noun starting with "g")
• the new "Juliette Has A Gun" perfume
• suppositories (which are often referred to as "bullets")
• packs of chewing gum (which the TSA illiterates will misread as chewing "gun")

This year, my family won't be flying back East.

Instead, I'm going to give my wife and daughter each a purse with an airplane design on the front.

According to the TSA, it's the same thing.

No Freedom Of Speech Until After High School

It's a question that rivals the eternally debated question "when does life begin?" and is about as impossible to answer.

The question is, "when does Freedom of Speech begin?"

If you look to the U.S. Constitution, the document which outlines that freedom in the Bill of Rights, you'll notice there is no age requirement or expiration date listed.

However, a recent action by a Kansas high school principal would seem to indicate that the right doesn't apply until after a student leaves the public school system.

The question revolves around a startling incident last week in which 18-year-old Emma Sullivan tweeted to friends after listening to a speech by Kansas governor Sam Brownback that the governor "sucked."  She was there as part of a school project in government.

Brownback's staff, which is constantly scanning the internet for instances of the governor's name, came across the posting.  The staffers contacted the young woman's school over the remark.

When she went back to school, the student was called into the principal's office, chastised, and ordered to write a letter of apology.

First, it's chilling in an Orwellian way that government officials are monitoring the Twitter conversations of teenagers.  The statements aren't private, but you wouldn't expect government henchmen to be listening in on loud street corner conversations, which is essentially the essence of Twitter.

Second, it's not like someone made a dire threat or a libelous statement about the governor.  A lot of people would even agree with the opinion.  But that's what it was, an opinion made by an American who even happens to be of voting age.

So why would members of one government agency (the governor's staff) contact a member of another government agency (the school principal) to single out and punish a citizen for expressing an opinion?

And how dare the principal use his power to order someone to apologize for that opinion.

To her credit, Sullivan said no, and was prepared to face the consequences.

Then, the story made it into the newspapers, and everyone started reversing engines.

The governor himself issued an apology, claiming his staff "over-reacted" to the Tweet. 

The principal backed down on his demand for an apology letter from the girl.

Of course, if the media hadn't caught wind of this, it's pretty unlikely that either government official would have backed down.

So while the student is no longer in Dutch, the deeper questions remain.

To keep order in school, rules must be enforced which limit or even prohibit Freedom of Speech.  (The "no talking or you'll have to put your heads on your desks" rule is probably the perfect example).

But where is the line?  Can a school enforce such rules even when the action takes place off school grounds?  Also, this wasn't an issue of disruption, it was a matter of content.  If the girl had tweeted "Governor Brownback looks hot in those corduroys," nothing would have been said.  But because she expressed a negative comment, she is accused of being "disrespectful" and subject to school punishment.

It's all made even more ironic by the fact the girl was attending the speech as part of a class in government.  What lesson do you think she and her classmates will take away from the attempted imposition of punishment for expressing an opinion about an elected official?  Is this really the lesson we want our children to learn about our American way of life?

It sounds as if the governor's staff and the principal could use a refresher course themselves on American government. 

Obviously, they were absent the day the First Amendment was taught during their own high school days.

Now, my only hope is that the governor's staff doesn't catch wind of this op-ed piece while trolling the internet.  I'm a little old to be staying after school, clapping erasers, and writing "I will not say bad things about government leaders" 1,000 times on the blackboard.

Happy Thanksgiving! Brought To You By...

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! 

[This Thanksgiving greeting is brought to you by Firestone; tires that can kill you, but at least we're sort of made in America.]

It's a day designed for enjoying time with your family, and consuming mass quantities of overweight poultry until you too are an overweight bird. 

[This Thanksgiving quip is brought to you by the makers of Zoloft; You're not really depressed until you're Zoloft depressed.]

Of course, this day has suffered serious incursions by what Alfred in "Miracle on 34th Street" decried by saying "there's a lot of bad isms in the woild, but the woist of them is commoicialism."

[This Thanksgiving movie reference is brought to you by GM; The only thing worse than the handling of our cars is our handling of money.]

One of the worst is the usurpation of the annual Macy's Thanksgiving Parade.

[This Thanksgiving event is brought to you by the Sony film "Arthur Christmas"; another insipid holiday cartoon your kids will insist you buy no matter how bad it sucks.]

Instead of a joyful and kid-thrilling trot around New York with marching bands and Underdog floats, it has become just another platform to advertise, with special emphasis on shilling for the dozens of tiresome Broadway shows by allowing unknown performers from those musicals to interrupt the parade's flow by stopping to dance and lip-sync a number from some soon-to-be-closing Tony runner-up.  The hard part is figuring out which is worse, the dancing and singing about themes that have nothing to do with the holidays, or the gushing phony praise heaped on the tepid performances by the parade's 59 different D-list celebrity hosts.

[This Thanksgiving whine is brought to you by Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey; an annoying sissy concoction developed because not everyone is man enough to drink straight Jack Daniels, and we need more moonshine money.]

Then you have the annual NFL football games, which honor the proud tradition of watching the Detroit Lions getting their brains bashed in by whoever happens to be on the other side of the scrimmage line each year, including the Kansas City Chiefs cheerleaders (who, according to Yahoo, are the only thing on the field uglier than the Lions' play).  Even though the Lions started strong this year, they've returned to their losing ways, and a matchup against the undefeated Packers is sure to bring more of the same this go-round.

[This Thanksgiving football preview is brought to you by Chrysler; the company that has taken government bailouts twice, and still manages to overcharge for every vehicle we make, showing we have learned our lessons well from a government that frequently features $600 hammers.]

More commercialism will sneak into the NFL games, as they stop the action about every three plays to bring you...more commercials.  And that doesn't include the subliminal little ads they bombard us with, like the "Aflac Third Down" and the "Prudential Halftime Show."

[This Thanksgiving product placement is brought to you by AIG; we're the financial giant that ripped people off before the crash, ripped people off after the crash, and still convinced the government to give us more money. Don't you want somebody that smart working for you?]

The latest sad chapter in the commercialization of Thanksgiving is the incursion of the "Black Friday" shopping bacchanal into Thursday.  Impatient stores can't wait to stick their hands in your pockets, so they're forcing their slaves - er, employees - to work on a family holiday while selling goods for the prices they actually SHOULD be sold at all year long (and would be, if they weren't spending billions on advertising each quarter), just to lure you out of your recliner. 

[This Thanksgiving shopping moment is brought to you by Walmart; selling low quality Chinese goods and running mom and pop stores out of business since just after Sam died, long before China purchased the U.S., and the only company capable of making people want to actually punch a smiley face right in the mouth.]

Fortunately, a few people are fighting back by ignoring the slick televised parades in favor of putting on real parades in their hometowns, and boycotting concentration camp stores that insist their labor must work on the holiday or be shot.  ("Shot," "fired," it's about the same thing in this economy).

[This Thanksgiving protest is brought to you by Budweiser; The king of American beers, using proud American imagery to enrich a company that isn't even owned by Americans anymore, you stupid Americans.]

In spite of all this Scrooge-like anti-commercialism curmudgeonry regarding the overselling saturation of a uniquely American holiday (a diatribe which the Wall Street crowd will decry as a dangerous and subversive threat to capitalism), the spirit of the day remains in homes across the country, where friends and relatives will sit down together at a bountiful meal and take a moment to count their many blessings. 

[This Thanksgiving shout-out to Wall Street is brought to you by Fox Labs; "Keeping public parks empty since 2011."  The official pepper spray of the University of California - Davis campus police department.]

So enjoy your day, watch the 18 minutes of commercials per hour as allowed by the FCC, and count yourself as blessed that you live in a country where you have the freedom to worship as you please, speak your mind, and love your family.

[This Thanksgiving pathos is brought to you by Exxon; Producers of fine oils and lubricants to ease the pain of the screwing we're giving Americans and the world.]

Despite being inundated and blasted with commercialism from every corner, it's still a wonderful country, and a spiritually uplifting holiday.  Enjoy it, and remember to offer up a special "thank you" to the Man Upstairs, since prayer is one of the few remaining forms of communication that isn't overrun with ads and sponsorships.  Well, if you don't count Joel Osteen's Lakewood Baptist Church, the Immaculate Conception Catholic Church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the United Methodist Church, the Lutheran Church, the Satmar Synagogue, the Islamic Center of America, the Crystal Cathedral, the 700 Club...

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Occupy Wall Street Stockpiling Weapons Of Mass Destruction

Uh oh.

The Occupy Wall Street crowd is in big doodoo now.

The Big Chief in the New York mayor's office has rolled in the big guns.

After citing questionable claims, like the presence of the OWS crowd in Zuccotti Park meant people couldn't use the public space (I'm not exactly sure what Mayor Boob-berg thinks the protesters are, but obviously they aren't people in his estimation) and his curious charges that the removal of the protesters was a matter of public health and security (apparently the mayor hasn't walked around the rest of his city without armed bodyguards lately), the Master Billionaire has levied the Big Charge.

It's the one that got Saddam Hussein whacked and is likely to cause Iran to become a well-lit parking lot in time for Hanukkah (lit for longer than eight days by a radioactive glow after the Israelis finish dropping bombs on Iran's suspected nuclear weapons building facilities).

Boob-berg says the protesters are stockpiling weapons, which is why he ordered the evil campers and campfire cookers out of the park.

Based on the mayor's claims, war is going to break out anytime now.

In fact, considering Boob-berg's roots, you better prepare yourself for the even bigger announcement:

The Occupy Wall Street protesters are developing weapons of mass destruction.

You heard it here first.

Whenever one of these power mongers wants to bust somebody's balls, that's the claim they trot out as justification for...well, for just about whatever they want to do.

Snatch a "suspected terrorist" and "rendition" them to Latvia?  Practice carpet bombing techniques on abandoned camel ranches?  Eavesdrop and wiretap the phones of U.S. residents?  Just issue the blanket "stockpiling weapons" allegation.  It's the greatest thing since Milton Bradley invented the "Get Out of Jail Free" card.

Of course, as our last president demonstrated, you don't have to have any facts to support such allegations, or something law enforcement agencies refer to as evidence.  You can just say the words, and more magically than Supercalifragilisticexpialadocious, you can do anything you want to anyone you want.

That's not to say Mayor Boob-berg is lying.  He would never play games with the truth.

Well, there was that time he helped cover up the fact that one of his deputy mayors was arrested for domestic abuse, but you can bet the Boober has a good excuse.  It's true that, when the mayor's office announced that individual's resignation, the public was told that Stephen Goldsmith was "leaving to pursue private-sector opportunities in infrastructure finance.”  That might be the coolest way ever of announcing that a guy was about to have his personal bank account emptied in the inevitable upcoming divorce.

Oh, one more piece of irony - the guy Boob-berg covered for, the 61-year-old who spent 36 hours in police custody in Washington after allegedly roughing up his wife, was the deputy mayor in charge of overseeing New York's police department.

But in this instance, because the truth can be a nebulous, fluid thing in the hands of a skilled politician like Boobie, claims of weapons stockpiling are probably true.  You can bet somebody had a butter knife in their backpack, or was using a large and dangerous stick to hold up their tent.

The thing that was likely to get Zuccotti Park rightfully nuked in a tactical strike by Boob-berg's air force (his fleet of police helicopters) is because the occupiers had chemical weapons in their possession.  I say this with a tremendous amount of certainty, because anyone who has actually been to New York City knows that only the mentally unstable would ever attempt to walk those streets at night without a can of Mace and two containers of pepper spray in their pockets.  Hence the confident leap to claims of the enemy -er, occupiers - possessing weapons of mass destruction.

Face it, those "peaceful protesters" were up to something, and it was up to the noble knight known across the land as the Boob-berg to ensure that guys in Armani suits and power ties on their way to rape some little old lady's 401-k were kept safe against the Zuccotti Park Taliban (the name wealthy politicians like to hang on anybody that thinks $65 is too much to pay for a steak sandwich).  Otherwise, the financial television network he founded (and which made him a billionaire) wouldn't have anything to drone on about during the next 24-hour news cycle.

He's obviously a hero.  Never mind that minor, outdated memo called the U.S. Constitution and it's sticky note, the First Amendment.  In New York, there are much more important laws on the books that must be upheld, like city codes against taking a nap in a public place at 3 a.m. when nobody except legitimate muggers would be using the park anyway.

It's odd, but after going over and over our Constitution, I can't find a single thing about freedom of speech being applicable only during daylight hours.  However, I'm sure it was just a careless oversight by our know-nothing founding fathers in an era that pre-dated flashing neon.  If they had known that people might actually take that right serious enough to endure cold, snow, and Boob-berg's badged beefeaters for 60 days in a row, they would have added an asterisk or a footnote.

The good news is that since there has been no outcry from real citizens (those who can afford Brooks Brothers suits), the displacement of those noisy hooligans from the hallowed grounds of public places in Oakland, Portland, Denver, Salt Lake City, and New York should ensure that nobody will be tempted to speak up about such petty grievances as fascism, injustice, or corruption in the future.

So, as the networks might say after a brief interruption, "we now return to our regularly scheduled greed.  In living color - green."

Tax On Christmas Trees Abominable

When Santa makes his rounds on Dec. 25, I hope he has a large supply of coal.  He'll need it for all the names of those in the U.S. Department of Agriculture on his "naughty" list who deserve nothing more in their stockings this year.

The Agriculture Department has officially imposed a 15 cent tax on all live Christmas trees.

If they're going to do something so heinous, why don't they just go ahead and levy taxes on Christmas presents, mistletoe, and a singing fee on every Christmas carol sung or played during the holidays?  (Okay, I'll admit that the music industry has already figured out how to do the last one).

Who exactly is the head of the Agriculture Department these days, Ebenezer Scrooge?

Like most bad government ideas, this one started as an okay idea.

The Christmas tree growers in the U.S. have seen a dramatic downturn in the number of trees they sell each year.

It's not a diabolical scheme devised by Jack Frost or Heat Miser or the Abominable Snowman.  It's just another sad reality of a nation that is addicted to Chinese goods as severely as it joneses for imported oil.  The truth is that Americans today buy artificial trees.

In an effort to improve their live tree sales and expand their marketing efforts, the tree growers have asked for help from the government (always a bad idea...just ask the Katrina victims). 

The government decided to do what the government ALWAYS does, which is establish another committee.  But in these austere times, they had to find a way to pay for the committee and their multitudinous assistants, vice-assistants, deputy associate assistants, and all the reams of paper any self-respecting bureaucracy requires.  So to fund the new committee, the Agriculture Department is charging 15 cents per tree to all of the tree growers, who of course will pass that 30 cent tax down to tree buyers.  (If you don't understand that last sentence, then you obviously flunked business math at Wharton.)

There are so many despicable facets to this scenario that I hardly know where to begin.

First, once again our government is sticking its nose into a business problem, and offering their equivalent of more corporate welfare.  At a time when so many people want to scream "socialism" at the drop of a hat, it continues to be hilarious when business owners see no problem whatsoever in receiving government assistance.  If the tree growers really needed another committee so badly, why didn't they form it themselves?

Second, this is an abject lesson in governance that should enrage and terrify every American.

When you go down the LONG list of directors, secretaries, managers, and other high-level toadies in the Agriculture Department, you'll find something interesting: not a single one of them was elected to their position.  The American people didn't vote for them or approve their appointment.

However, despite the fact that they aren't elected, the Agriculture Department somehow has the power and authority to levy taxes.

Most of us operate daily under the erroneous assumption that only Congress can impose new taxes.  In fact, if I remember correctly, that's exactly how we ended up with a Congress, after colonists decided they'd had enough of taxes being levied by appointed flunkies like King George (who, if you believe the monarchy, was appointed by God). 

The truth is that just about any old department or committee in the federal government can tack on some fees, tariffs, or taxes any time they want, without Congressional approval or action.

It only took a little over 200 years, but we've succeeded in bringing the concept of "taxation without representation" full circle.  It is now a normal and accepted practice in the United States.

Worst of all, I'm not sure there's anything we can do about it, short of dressing up in war paint and heading down to your nearest Kiwanis tree stand to throw large collections of Douglas firs overboard.

So, now that we're just about as powerless as the colonists in 1775, all we can do is hope that the Big Guy in Red will exact some collective vengeance against the bureaucratic evildoers by leaving mounds of coal in their stockings for finally finding a way to tax Christmas.

Never mind that every piece of coal placed in those stockings includes taxes imposed by the U.S. Department of Energy and the Environmental Protection Agency.  As we so often say on Christmas morning when opening the oversized, badly-knitted mittens from Aunt Esther (even though you're now 35 years old)...it's the thought that counts.

Corporations Thrive While Middle Class Dives

Wall Street Skyrockets While Protesters Freeze

Still don't understand why people are angry enough to take to the streets in protest over the runaway greed in this country?

Recent news stories have inadvertently underscored just how broken and out of whack the scales have become when weighing the growing wealth of the richest individuals and corporations against a backdrop of staggering unemployment and crippling losses in value for average American homeowners.

First, a report came out last week on Exxon's third quarter profits.  The numbers were jaw-dropping. 

(See story at http://www.businessweek.com/news/2011-10-27/exxon-mobil-profit-tops-10-billion-on-crude-oil-price-surge.html)

At a time when people are getting absolutely gouged at the gas pumps, making hard decisions between paying for food or paying nearly $4 a gallon for gasoline in some places to get them to and from work, Exxon posted a third-quarter profit of $10.3 billion.  It was the third quarter in a row the oil giant earned more than $10 billion in profit, and a 41% jump in profit over last year's third quarter.

Exxon has made a profit of more than $30 billion this year alone, sheltering those profits from the tax man by using their offshore corporations, while nearly 10% of the population is unemployed because other corporations have sent their jobs overseas.

The kicker is that Exxon's actual oil production was down 3.8%.  Ordinarily, when a company produces less of their product, their revenues and profits go down.

Not in oil-addicted America.  And the oil companies know it. 

Oh, and just as a reminder...In 2009, Exxon paid NO income taxes.

(See story at http://www.citybeat.com/cincinnati/blog-1262-ge_exxon_paid_no_taxes_in_09.html)

One more irony in this scenario is that for years, Exxon and other members of big oil have lied that high gasoline prices aren't their fault, that it's a function of the speculation markets.  Yet in a CNN story, they admitted that the higher profits are a direct result of higher gasoline prices. 

Sorry, Exxon, you can't have it both ways.

Soon after the Exxon story broke, Chevron announced that at $7.8 billion, their profits for the third quarter of 2011 are double their 2010 profits for the same quarter.

(See story at http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203687504577003563181503478.html)

Royal Dutch Shell announced that they also doubled their profits in the third quarter.

Again, all of this is happening while Americans are struggling under the Atlas-like weight of extremely expensive gas that has jacked up the cost of delivering food and goods.  And you know how that "trickle down" works - higher prices for what we eat and wear.

On Friday, Oct. 28, Wall Street chimed in with a little salt to pour into the wounds of Americans who are losing their jobs, homes, and way of life.

According to reports, October was the best month for Wall Street's Dow since 2002.  The Dow traded on Thursday at 12,186, compared to its March 2009 low of 6,547.

(See story at http://www.thisdaylive.com/articles/wall-street-edges-down-after-strong-rally/101554/)

This is great news for those who hate the Occupy Wall Street protesters.  It means that, in the face of this historic protest against greed, the stock market continues to skyrocket and go higher and higher in value and profits while America's working class continues to get pummeled by the economy.  Wall Street continues to prosper while the protesters freeze out in the snow at Zucotti Park.

And a new report on housing indicates that economic news is going to get worse and worse for the average homeowner.

It states that home values will fall another 3.6% between now and June, and could fall as much as 15% more in the battered Las Vegas market.  This means home values nationwide will have plummeted more than 35% since the peak in 2006.

(See story at http://finance.yahoo.com/real-estate/article/113725/home-prices-heading-triple-dip-cnnmoney?mod=realestate-sell)

Remember, for most average Americans, their home is their biggest investment and usually represents more than half their personal net worth.

To put it in perspective, the wealthy stock market investors and big oil corporations are making money like crazy, while hard working middle class homeowners are losing money on their most valuable asset through no fault of their own.

It's insane, and upside down.

The middle class has done nothing wrong.  They didn't cause the real estate implosion or the banking scandal, yet they are paying the price across the board with lost jobs and lost value in their homes.

So to see protesters screaming about the inequalities and runaway greed on Wall Street should not be a surprise.  The only surprise is that more of us are not carrying signs among them.

Occupy Wall Street Ironies

One thing you can always count on when it comes to popular culture is irony.

The recent Occupy Wall Street protests are filled with it, particularly in the attempts by opponents to shut it down.

My favorite irony revolves around the fact that the protest is aimed at the rich and their greed.  In listening to the wealthy denigrate the movement, and the government's complaints about it, the differences between the 1% and the 99% become crystal clear.

For example, the leadership in several cities including New York and Oakland have decided that the protesters have to go because they simply aren't rich enough to be allowed to remain.

In both cities, the mayor's office has raised a ruckus because nobody has bothered to pay the fees required for protest permits.

I find that hilarious, because I can't find a single line in the Constitution that says you have to pay a cover charge to express your grievances.  Apparently, free speech isn't free in New York or Oakland.

More proof that only the wealthy are allowed to protest is in another gambit being employed by these municipalities.  Protesters were swept out of their park in Oakland and were threatened with expulsion in New York because of their cooking facilities.  In both places, the argument is that the open air "kitchens" don't meet code, and must be shut down until the appropriate upgrades and improvements are in place.

Usually, that means National Sanitation Foundation-approved refrigerators and stoves. 

Have you priced one of those suckers lately?

I feel confident in saying that you could go to Home Depot and buy a nice Frigidaire refrigerator for about $900, but it won't have the NSF logo on it.  To get the exact same model that has an NSF label, you can add another 2k to the price.  Seems kind of pricey for a paper sticker, but that's the way the game is played.

Basically, the authorities are saying that if the protesters included more wealthy people willing to pony up a few grand for first-rate appliances, they would be allowed to stay without complaint.

I find it particularly ironic that a lot of wealthy right wingers have nothing good to say about the 99 percenters.

Here's what I mean:

When the first brontosaurus burger concession came into existence, you can bet that a caveman with a protruding suborbital ridge and a clipboard showed up, grunting that the Neanderthal-preneur needed a city license and had to pass a health-department inspection.  I'm not sure how you lose points on such an inspection for having dirt on the floor when the floor itself is made of dirt, but I have faith that prehistoric bureaucrats found a way to work it into their citations.

Ever since the days of Fred Flintstone, the right has been complaining about government regulations like that.

However, now that it's the 99 percenters getting hammered with these requirements as the ruse being used to evict them, those wealthy anti-regulation zealots remain curiously quiet.

As for the complaints about a lack of bathroom facilities for the protesters, I have no sympathy for the anti-occupy crowd.

And it's one more briquette on the charcoal irony pyramid.

Everyone knows that those obscenely rich Wall Street types believe their crap doesn't stink. So when the smell of unfiltered humanity wafts beneath their nostrils, they go into a panic.

Want to make the smell go away?  It's easy.  Simply let the protesters use the bathrooms at the New York Stock Exchange and at those fancy bank buildings lining Wall Street.

But no, the police have put up barricades and prohibited the protesters from setting foot in these elite facilities. 

I guess it makes sense.

Obviously, the authorities figure those places filled with bankers and stock brokers are already so full of crap that they couldn't accommodate one more bean fart.

And on this one point, I would have to agree.

Huntsman Seals Fate With Diss Of Nevada Neighbor

Former Utah governor Jon Huntsman has
finished off his flagging campaign for
the Republican nomination by insulting the
state of Nevada.

Did you hear that sound? 

It was the echo of a presidential campaign in its death throes.

Worst of all, it's a campaign now destined to die of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the foot.

Former Utah governor Jon Huntsman's bid for the GOP nomination has been on life support for weeks.  Not only has he failed to become the most popular candidate in the national discussion, he isn't even the most popular Mormon in the race.

Former Utah resident, LDS member, and 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympics savior Mitt Romney has bested him in almost every metric.

Huntsman hasn't made any significant gaffes, which in some ways is unfortunate for his campaign because his name and likeness aren't getting any late night exposure during Leno's monologues or Letterman's soliloquies.

He also hasn't done anything significant or noteworthy to elevate himself toward the top of a crowded herd of presidential wannabes.

However, this week he finally made a misstep, compounded by the proverbial insult added to injury, and it's likely to finish him off.

Huntsman made the curious decision to opt out of the televised Republican candidate debate in Las Vegas Oct. 18. 

It was odd, because he could have driven from his Utah home to Vegas.

Also, who passes up on free TV face time? 

Even sanctimonious Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum figured out how to find Sin City, despite the fact that the nameplate on his podium could have been engraved with "Is HE still in the race?"

His absence was a slight slap in the face to his next door neighbor, but it wasn't like anyone would miss him.  It simply meant one less person standing in line at the all-you-can-eat buffet.

Now, Huntsman's exercise in skipping school has been blown into a full-fledged steel-cage death match between him and the Nevada voters, and the candidate himself is the one who picked the fight.

On Thursday, the potential dairy spokesmodel published an Op-Ed piece in New Hampshire's Union Leader newspaper and website [Click Here for article].

Instead of offering up a subtle mea culpa for missing the debate, like he was washing his hair or fell asleep in front of the TV while watching Hannity on Fox News, Huntsman hammered the entire state of Nevada for its gamesmanship over the upcoming primaries.  He explained that his "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" from the campaign was actually a boycott of the Silver State.

In the guest editorial, Huntsman ripped Nevada for deciding to move its GOP caucus up to January, just ahead of New Hampshire's primary.  Previously, the vote in New Hampshire was the first in the nation.

After flipping Nevadans the bird, he then spit in their eye with some of his remarks.

"At a time when so much of American politics has devolved into slogans and sideshow theatrics, as we've seen in recent debates, Granite Staters demand more.  They expect to meet candidates, not through a television ad, but a handshake. They do their homework, examine records, and ask probing questions and tough follow-ups. They're not impressed with slick PR campaigns. They value authenticity and recognize pandering for what it is," Huntsman said in his editorial.

Why didn't he just go ahead and call us a collection of vacuous Ken and Barbie dolls?

He goes on to take a few more backhanded passive-aggressive swipes at what he apparently believes to be the doltish collection of Las Vegas louts while singing the praises of New Hampshire.

There are a lot of reasons for Nevada residents to raise their hackles and sharpen their pitchforks as they pointedly ignore his name in January, but he has actually given all voters across the country two legitimate reasons to go ahead and scratch his name off the list, and that doesn't include the impression that Huntsman's really just a campaign coward afraid of taking on the big boys under a national spotlight.

One, he apparently doesn't own a map; and two, a simple pocket calculator is obviously beyond his skillset.

Take a look at a map of the U.S.  If you're into comparing "size" (and Texans like candidates Rick Perry and Ron Paul always are), Nevada is bigger than New Hampshire.

But as wives are constantly reassuring their insecure husbands, size really doesn't matter.

But populations do.

According to the 2010 Census, the population of New Hampshire is 1,316,470.  The population of Nevada is 2,700,551.  Nearly double.  Which means Nevada not only has more potential voters, it represents more ticks on the Electoral College tote board come election time.

Snubbing and insulting one of your neighbors isn't how you win elections, not that the former Utah governor was ever in any danger of taking the top spot on the GOP ballot.  After Huntsman's most recent diatribe, Sharron Angle has a better chance of carrying the Nevada Republican vote (and she lost to Harry Reid, one of the most hated politicians in the state and country).

But it's even worse for Huntsman.  When the elections are over and he returns to Utah, dragging his whipped tail between his legs the entire trip, he's going to eventually run into a few of his western neighbors.  And while Nevadans apparently "don't do their homework" and "don't examine records," there is one thing our Las Vegas Mafia-influenced history has taught us how to do:

Carry a grudge.

Occupy Protesters Need To Avoid Tea Party Mistakes

First the Occupy Wall Street protesters were ignored.  Then they were lambasted by the right wing.  After that, they were embraced by the media.  And now the Democratic Party is trying to co-opt them.

My advice to the unidentifiable leadership of this organic, unorganized grass roots protest?

Don't let them do it!

Don't allow the weak, knuckleheaded boobs in the Democratic Party do to you what the knuckleheaded boobs in the Republican Party did to the Tea Party.

In the beginning, I believed in the Tea Party.  There are some facets and individuals involved in that movement that I support even today.

But when they sold out wholesale to the Republicans more than a year ago?  I lost my respect for them and gave up on them as a legitimate, groundbreaking organization of substance.

Today, under the GOP leadership, they have completely lost their way.

I'd be willing to wager that a good 40 percent of the people who either belong to or support the Tea Party don't even know what "TEA" originally stood for.

It was "Taxed Enough Already," a sentiment that is worthy of embrace by almost every American on the continent.

In the beginning, the group was deliberately and pointedly non-partisan, holding politicians accountable on both sides of the aisle for the out-of-control spending and high taxes.

So who got the tax breaks?

The corporations and the rich.

Unfortunately, the Tea Party appears to have given up on that cause and embraced an easier message spoon-fed to them by their GOP puppet masters: "Get rid of Obama."

What does Obama have to do with this country's out-of-control spending?  That problem was here long before Obama got into office, and continues unabated under the de facto rule of the GOP in the Senate and the actual Republican majority in the House. 

The Repubs want to play shell games and blame the problem on "socialist programs."  Really?  Which ones?  You mean Medicare?  Social Security?  Sorry, those programs were here long before Obama showed up.  In fact, the big growth in Medicare came not under a Democrat, but under George W. Bush, who approved the Medicare Prescription Drug, Improvement, and Modernization Act in 2003. 

Since Jan. 20, 2009, I challenge you to find a single "socialist" program that has been enacted.  The only thing the right wing can point to is Obama's idiotic Health Care Reform (which doesn't provide any of those three things - health, care, or reform).  What they forget is that, since President Spineless caved and removed the "public option" from the new law, there's nothing socialist about it.

But when it comes to government deficits and unbridled spending, the elephant in the room (pardon the pun, 'Publicans) is the war in Afghanistan, and the war in Iraq.  Somehow, the Tea Party always forgets that it was a Republican who picked those two coffer-draining fights.  You want to blame Obama for something?  Blame the rat bastard for lying and not getting us OUT of those two messes like he promised in 2008.  According to recent news reports, even the troops are questioning whether these two ongoing wars are worth the lives and money being squandered on the two battle fronts with no winnable solution in sight.

Obama lied to the American people about ending the Iraq war and pulling our troops out.  According to the Brookings Institute, as of June 30, 2011, there are still 44,000 American troops in Iraq.  You want to whale on Obama?  There is a legitimate reason.  His lack of action is almost as unconscionable and unforgivable as Bush's decision to get us into Iraq.

Someday, I'm hoping the Tea Party will return to its non-partisan roots (hint - that means lunatic GOP darlings like Sarah Palin won't be the keynote speaker at their "non-partisan" rallies).  When that day comes, I'll go back to being a Tea Party supporter.

In the meantime, I'm trying to be optimistic that this new Occupy Wall Street group will do a better job of standing up to corporations and rich campaign donors who have been manipulating the two-party system for decades.  That means they'll have to resist the charms of left wing nutjobs like Democratic congressmen Charles Rangel and Keith Ellison. 

The last thing the Occupy movement needs is to fall prey to partisan politics and become the extreme mouthpiece for the Democrats, the way the Tea Party has for the Republicans.  Just like the GOP, which needed the growing momentum of the Tea Party to become relevant in 2010, the Democrats want to suck some of the go juice from the burgeoning Occupy movement to give themselves some badly needed momentum for the looming 2012 elections.

When you think about it, the moves by both major parties are truly sad, and indicative of how far politics in America has fallen.  Those politicians from both parties used to be referred to as "leaders."  Now, they're just finding fast-moving parades and jumping in front of them to give the appearance that they are leading.  They're not.

You want proof?

According to a recent Rasmussen Report poll, 33% of Americans have a favorable opinion of the "Occupy Wall Street" protesters.  (40% have no opinion, and 27% have an unfavorable opinion).

By comparison, a recent ABC poll shows that only 14% of Americans have a favorable opinion of Congress, and 82% disapprove of the job Congress has been doing.

That means the Occupy movement, filled with what Fox News characterizes as slackers and lazy out of work bums, is twice as popular as Congress after only being in existence for three weeks.

To the protestors and supports of the Occupy Wall Street movement that has now moved to Main Street in a number of states, the message is clear (even if your demands aren't...yet):

Stay pure. 

Steve Jobs Death Sad, Not A Tragedy

The world received the sad news on Wednesday that Apple founder Steve Jobs died at the age of 56.

News sites from every corner have eulogized his passing, some even hinting that it was a tragedy.

To be sure, it's surprising and unfortunate.  When someone with his wealth, access, resources, and mental strength succumbs to pancreatic cancer, you know it is truly an incurable disease.  Also, it always gives pause when someone still in his prime is struck down.

But does it rise to the level of "tragedy?" 

No.

Jobs lived a remarkable life.  He reached the heights in his profession, positively influenced history, and was a household name.

True tragedy is dying with your song still in you.

The amount of media coverage raises another question that no longer gets asked very often.

Was he a good man?  And does it matter anymore?

Without question, Jobs was iconic.  His story was an inspiring one, involving a young man and his business partner Steve Wozniak working in obscurity to pioneer new computer innovations.  Starting from nothing, they created Apple, and the Mac line of computers.

Then, in a sign of just how crazy, insensitive, and wrong the corporate world can be, Jobs was ousted from his position as the head of the company he founded.

That's an important story, because it emphasizes one of the many things that is flawed about today's business world.  Corporations no longer reward and applaud innovation or visionary thinking.  They only want profits.  Big profits.  If the profits aren't big enough, even a company's founder can be shown the door.

The bean counters and professional corporate handlers subsequently ran Apple into the ground.  That's not a surprise.  No hired gun can bring the same level of intensity, commitment, and vision as the guy who originally built the company.  To the job-jumping CEO's, it's a board game.  To men like Steve Jobs, it is a part of who they are.

During his time away from Apple, Jobs co-created the animated movie giant Pixar, which eventually got eaten by mega-corporation Disney. 

He also created a couple of failed computer competitors, including NeXT.

Then, after watching his beloved Apple turned into a third-rate computer company, Jobs returned as CEO.

He stunned the world by making, instead of the next whiz-bang lineup of computers, a music player called an iPod.  It was an enormous success.

Then, to top off that win, he again sidestepped the call of rolling out a new and better Apple computer.  He bucked all the odds and ignored the catcalls of Wall Street watchers who believed he was destined to run Apple back into the ground by jumping into the crowded, cut-throat telecommunications world.  The result was the iPhone, which is the undisputed king of smart cell phones.

His next trick was super-sizing the iPhone into the iPad, a gimmick which a lot of people thought was just a retread of the laptop computer fad.  As usual, they were wrong and he was right.  Now, an entire new industry of "tablets" has been created.  Moreover, tablets have been anointed as the PC killer that experts have been predicting since about two months after the PC was invented.  Even Hewlett Packard has run up the white flag, admitting that tablets are the future of computing by announcing that they are going to stop building PC's.

Steven Jobs is a business hero.

But the core question remains - is greatness defined today simply as the height and breadth of your accomplishments, or who you are as a person?

Once upon a time, such lofty accolades were reserved for those who not only had success, but also displayed a touch of humanity.  Mother Teresa immediately jumps to mind.  She didn't die a millionaire, but she was beloved and known the world over.  John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr. were both recognized as protectors and promoters of their fellow man.  John Wayne was known for his soft spot in helping people and spending time with the common folk.

There are plenty of stories about Jobs' business and technology prowess, but not many warm and fuzzy tales of helping a sick child or donating millions to causes.  In fact, there are numerous reports of his sometimes ruthless nature in business.  He also had a wide streak of stinginess in not sharing Apple codes with programmers, or allowing other software writers to develop applications that would work on an Apple computer.  Other computer companies facilitated and encouraged such synchronicity, sharing the wealth created by their innovations with other software developers. 

As a child, your mother would have chided you for being selfish.  Today, it's considered "just business."

To be fair, Jobs never appeared on the police blotter or was photographed stoned, drunk, or stumbling into a car without underwear, which are common and accepted practices for today's celebrities.  No sex scandals, no Madoff-like corporate sleight of hand, no wife beating.

All of this is not to diminish the memory of a historic figure, or to speak ill of the dead.  It is to make the point that our interpretation of "greatness" has become skewed. 

Today, you can be considered great even if you've crushed some people under your wheels.  Nobody's handing out trophies for second place.  In fact, you'll even receive scorn if you finished second because you insisted on being ethical, humane, and compassionate.

The loss of Steve Jobs this week is sad and worthy of our attention and consideration.  It doesn't rise to the level of tragedy, although it will probably be seen that way by holders of Apple stock.

The loss of our standards as to what constitutes greatness, and the way we reward behaviors that would have made our mothers ashamed...that is a true tragedy.