Thursday, December 8, 2011

TSA Picks On Teen For Gun Design On Purse


There are plenty of federal agencies that land on the Top 10 list of "Most Hated" for many Americans. 
It's actually easy pickings, beginning with that most dysfunctional, corrupt, greedy, and disharmonious of entities, the United States Senate and House of Representatives.  It's easy to hate an organization that is so steeped in partisan hatred and disregard for the people they are supposed to serve.
But they aren't alone. 
Wanna talk universal hatred?  Just bring up the IRS. 
Then you have partisan hatred.  To get a right winger wound up, just mention the EPA or the federal Welfare agency.  To see a left winger jump up and down, bring the CIA or the Federal Reserve board into the conversation.
However, even the most ordinary, lowly citizen can join hands with the most upper crust celebrity and millionaire in despising one particular federal agency, which is loathed equally by every socio-economic strata:
The TSA.
What does TSA stand for?  Below is the top 12 from a list of 38 compiled by JumboJoke.com.  My personal favorite is number 12.

  1. Teaching Submission to Americans
  2. Touchin', Squeezin', Arrestin'
  3. Theatrical Security Agents
  4. Taking Scissors Away
  5. Too Stupid for Arby's
  6. They See All
  7. Trained Sodomy Adminstrators
  8. Taking Security Away
  9. Touching Sensitive Areas
  10. Taliban Sharia Advocates
  11. Terrorists Succeeded? Assuredly
  12. Tough Shit, America!
The Transportation Security Administration was in the news again last week after a teenage girl from Florida was stopped and detained by TSA officials for carrying a gun.
It wasn't a pistol or rifle.  It wasn't a replica.  It wasn't a toy.
It was a design on her purse.
The front of the girl's purse had metal studs and the raised metal outline of a six-shooter.
She didn't have any problem with the TSA hasslers in Florida.  But on her way back from Virginia, bored TSA bullies from Norfolk International Airport stopped her, pulled her aside, and held her in custody long enough to make her miss her flight home.
The palm size gun design was a decoration that an untrained chimpanzee could have figured out in two, maybe three seconds.
The TSA's pretend cop wannabes went on red alert.
Because they're a government agency, and all federal bureaucracies thrive on something they call "precedent," you can bet there will now be a rash of detainments during the upcoming Christmas travel season.
I predict you will see the TSA stop travelers for possession of:

  • a photograph of your favorite Glock
  • CD's by the rock band "Revolver"
  • DVD's of the old TV western "Have Gun Will Travel"
  • any and every video version of "Die Hard"
  • the gun-filled video game Call of Duty (just this week Alec Baldwin got into trouble for playing "Words With Friends" on a plane...I suspect he was winning with a three-letter noun starting with "g")
  • the new "Juliette Has A Gun" perfume
  • suppositories (which are often referred to as "bullets")
  • packs of chewing gum (which the TSA illiterates will misread as chewing "gun")

This year, my family won't be flying back East.
Instead, I'm going to give my wife and daughter each a purse with an airplane design on the front.
According to the TSA, it's the same thing.

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